True romance or road to ruin? Running the Marathon des Sables as a couple

The Marathon des Sables (MdS) is a six-day, multi-stage ultramarathon that takes place in the Moroccan Sahara. The course covers approximately 252km, and runners must be self-sufficient throughout.

Sound tough enough? Well, despite words of caution from several people who have done it before, we’ve decided to tackle it – together. So, as the event approaches, we’re asking ourselves, will this be a relationship test or a pre-wedding “honeymoon” to remember?

Neither of us has run an ultramarathon before, and only Karl has run an official marathon … once. So, yes, we have reservations going into the MdS. Anyone training for their first major endurance event will be familiar with the issues we’re facing: training, diet, conditioning, kit.

For us, the key issue has been fitting our preparation around work. This is particularly difficult for Karl, who, as a hospital doctor, has an unenviable shift pattern that makes routine impossible. Training after a 13-hour night-shift takes considerable motivation, although thankfully our local PureGym is open 24 hours a day. It’s easier for Sarah, a research scientist, to adopt a more consistent approach to training, but even then there are only so many hours in a day.

Then we find it impossible not to compare our progress. Who is fitter? Whose legs ache more? On the other hand, this is an advantage that we wouldn’t get if we were training alone. We’re both competitive, which means we push each other to improve, and we learn from each other as we go. But how will this work in the race itself?

The tendency to compare doesn’t stop with training. We’re currently deciding what food and equipment to take, and although we agree that these decisions are personal, we’re still eyeing each other’s choices, thinking: “Should I have got that one instead?’

While all MdS participants probably fret about their kit, we have other unique concerns that come with taking part as a couple. Even the mundane details: throughout our relationship, we’ve both made some sort of effort with our appearances. We’ve certainly never gone seven days without a shower. So, we anticipate that we’re likely to see the worst of each other during the MdS – quite literally.

But the biggest question we’ve had to ask ourselves is: “What if one of us can’t finish?” A dreaded thought. Would the other also retire from the race? We’ve both invested so much – physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. How might this decision affect our relationship?

To answer this, we’ve tried to keep things in perspective. Running for a charity – Hope for Children – has really helped. After all, taking part in the MdS is a privilege that is far removed from the trials faced by the people for whom we’re fundraising. For us, then, the answer is simple: if one of us is unable to finish, the other must complete the race. This decision, however, comes with the caveat that neither of us is actually allowed to get injured, or drop out for any reason …

Many people have asked if we should have waited until after the MdS before booking the wedding. No! It will be a challenge, but so far it has only helped to strengthen our relationship. We might decide that we should run separately once we start, but there are some things that we need to learn for ourselves. For us, the MdS is an adventure that we want to share, and we will continue to run together when its done.

Ultimately, though, we’re confident enough that we’ve booked (and paid for) our wedding venue, sent invitations and made travel arrangements. That said, Sarah might not choose a dress until she knows what sunburn marks and rucksack chafes need to be covered …

If you’d like to donate or find out more visit www.justgiving.com/karlandsarahrunmds or find us on twitter @KarlandSarah.

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