Name Saj Ahmad
Age 29
Occupation Insurance sales for Royal Bank of Scotland
Relationship Single
Goals To live and work in Dubai and to cope with the emotional transition of moving abroad
Saj’s story
Although she describes herself as ‘generally happy’, Saj feels neither stretched by her work nor, having lived in Nottingham most of her life, her environment. She’s toyed with the idea of moving abroad for the past two years, a change she’s convinced will provide a much-needed ‘adventure’ plus multiple career avenues. Dubai is her ideal destination, despite her never having been there, because ‘it’s growing, dynamic, and I’d meet people from different cultures’.
The fact that it’s a Muslim country is a pull, too. ‘I see Britain as very much my country, but I’d love to experience living in a Muslim one,’ Saj says. ‘Growing up in a western culture you only experience the polarities of everything; in a Muslim country, you’d see what it’s like just being Muslim without it being an issue.’
The first dilemma is what she’ll do there: Saj has never identified her dream job. Despite loving her degree – politics at Birmingham University – she didn’t pursue a political career. ‘I was the first daughter to leave Nottingham for university, so it was quite a big deal and I felt a real push to return afterwards. But I didn’t feel Nottingham was somewhere I could get into politics. I worked in call centres, did admin, anything, then started at the bank.’
Now all she knows is that she wants a decent wage and ‘to not look back, aged 40, and regret doing a unfulfilling nine-to-five’. However, as well as working with a careers coach to find a suitable job, Saj will need help navigating the rocky emotional road of relocation.
‘The hardest thing will be leaving my family – that makes me very anxious,’ says Saj. ‘Leaving my friends will be really difficult, too. I do need to be away from everyone who knows me in order to flourish – but that prospect’s also incredibly scary.’
Careers coach Sue Clarke says
My approach is very logical and practical and can help people like Saj cut through the ’emotional fog’ that often confuses decision-making at this stage. She’s questioning her decision to relocate, but that’s a natural reaction. Luckily Saj is flexible and realistic, which is great.
To identify the job she wants in Dubai, she needs to ask herself: 1) What do I enjoy doing? 2) What am I good at? 3) What would my ideal job description be? Saj wants to be having interviews by March, so the next step is producing her ‘marketing material’, a CV that will attract that ideal job rather than simply list her experience. She’ll then need to research the legal situation of working in Dubai and identify reputable agencies to secure work through.
Before then, I’ve asked her to fill in a questionnaire to establish her wider life needs, eg friends, family or environment – what makes her life here ‘work’ so she can get those things in place overseas.
Career-wise, relocating can be a positive, but if Saj does a job below her capacity in Dubai it’d have the same effect CV-wise as doing that job here, ie she could look like she’s bombed out. She may not be able to enter at the same level, but it’s the degree of difference she must monitor.
First steps to relocating abroad
· Ask yourself if you’re moving overseas for positive reasons, not to escape a negative. You will need to be very robust psychologically.
· Don’t dismiss on-spec applications. If there’s an organisation overseas you’d love to work for, don’t just zap off an email: treat it like any formal application and send it to the right person.
· If your job is no longer a fit, you may just need to change sector, not relocate – eg doing marketing for a charitable rather than a financial organisation.
Life coach Janie Romer says
Right now Saj is bored and wants adventure, but is naturally fearful. This need for newness isn’t just typical of her age. We experience stages of ‘wanting more’ in our late twenties, mid-thirties, forties and fifties. And with change there’s the dual emotional reaction of excitement and fear. It will be a challenge meeting new people and being in a new place, and Saj will probably miss her family.
If you’re relocating, acknowledge that you may experience loneliness but trust that you will manage and meet people. You can also work a visit back home into the design of your relocation from day one.
The next step for Saj would be to explore and manage the fear she’s experiencing. But for now she needs to approach this decision like climbing – there’s still the adrenal charge even if she just takes one step at a time. And she must remember she can always change her mind. Even if she gets as far as interviews then decides not to go, it will still have been worthwhile. In terms of learning about herself, the process is as important as the result.
First steps to coping with the emotional transition of moving abroad
· Your family will be upset to some extent. Even if they want you to go they will have withdrawal symptoms. Let friends and relatives express their love and concerns, then offer reassurance in terms of when you will next speak to and see one another.
· Most people are naturally drawn to a certain location. But ensure that you’re not working within the framework of a fantasy, that the things you’re looking for are available to you there. Explore the cultural differences and how they will affect you.
· Be completely honest with yourself in terms of why you’re leaving. If it’s due to a shattered relationship, for example, taking a sabbatical or even just a holiday could be sufficient. Even if you’re not trying to escape something, can you really not achieve your dreams here?
Interviews: Claire Baylis
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