Matt Seaton’s two wheels

Even when he’s not insulting whole cities (or “towns”, as he might say), one wouldn’t necessarily want to endorse everything Boris Johnson says – militant cyclist though he is. He has practically cornered the market in the politically incorrect soundbite. At a recent meeting in Islington, for example, he called for “Sharia law for bicycle thieves”. Fellow-members of the Bullingdon Club they may have been, but it’s hard to imagine David Cameron ever appointing Boris home secretary with that quote waiting to haunt him.

Yet we do have Boris to thank for successfully opposing an amendment to legislation that would have enabled police to prosecute cyclists for using a handheld mobile phone while riding, as they can motorists for doing so while driving. Not that I’m saying that using a mobile while cycling is a smart idea – but it’s good to know you can’t be done for it, if you do.

This perhaps falls into the category of what could be thought of as cycling’s illicit pleasures: things you can do on a bike that you probably shouldn’t, but which you do because they’re too much fun. I’m afraid I’m a serial sinner in this regard, and I’d like several offences to be taken into account.

Item one: riding “no hands”. My journey to work begins on a long, straight, broad road, and I’m always in a rush, so I hop on to my bike and then – when I’m already under way – need to fiddle around finding my dark glasses or putting on gloves or getting my iPod sorted (and that’s a whole other sin, but let’s not get started on that one). So I ride the first quarter-mile hands-free. It’s probably not very sensible. Conceivably, even, I could get pulled over for riding without due care and attention. But I do it all the same. Because I can, and because I get a kick out of it.

Item two: “trackstands”. My favourite little game with myself on my commute is not to put a foot down the whole way. So I’m the guy you see at the lights balancing stationary – which is probably very irritating because it looks as though I’m just showing off. But I’d actually argue that by working on your balance, it improves your bike-handling generally. Oh, and it’s absolutely addictive. Master this skill and a whole universe of circus tricks opens in front of you: from winning slow riding races (really, they exist), to cycling backwards in circles (I’ve seen it done).

Item three: “bunny-hopping”. A handy way of riding up kerbs and other obstacles without mashing your rims. Not very sensible on the face of it, but actually a useful ability if it means you can “jump” a pothole in an emergency. And again, idiot fun.

All very childish, I know – it’s not responsible, adult behaviour. But that’s the point: one of the joys of cycling is the re-connection with that childhood spirit of freedom from constraint. Can that be wrong?

Bike doc

Dear Matt,

Do male cyclists run a higher-than-average risk of contracting testicular cancer or is this just an urban myth?

Phil Goodland, Brighton, via email

I am not aware of any research showing a greater incidence of testicular cancer among cyclists (and I’d be surprised not to have come across it if it existed). Cycling has been shown to cause penile numbness or prostatitis, but again, to my knowledge, no link has been suggested with prostate cancer. Both these conditions are usually easy to put right.

Lance Armstrong’s highly publicised survival of advanced testicular cancer may have unwittingly given rise to the myth linking the disease with cycling, but this type of cancer is relatively rare, accounting for about 1% of cancers in men (its incidence peaks at the age of 35 and declines thereafter). Rates for testicular cancer have increased gradually, but steadily, in most countries over the past 60 years, leading to speculation about such factors as industrial pollution and high cholesterol.

Since cycling has generally declined in many countries, it has not been mentioned as a cause for the higher incidence.

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