Think of great human endeavour. Add changing tides, relentlessly cold water and wild currents. Then know that August is a traditional month for Channel swim attempts. In the first recorded successful “solo” swim in August 1875 – sustained by beef tea, and employing a steady breaststroke – Captain Matthew Webb reached Calais in under 22 hours. Since then, the Channel Swimming Association cites 900-odd solo crossings. This August, there will be 33 attempts at the 22.5 miles from Shakespeare Beach to Cap Gris-Nez. For each, “one hat, one costume, goggles, grease and earplugs”. No wetsuits allowed. Claimed records include a youngest swimmer of just 11, an oldest of 70 and a “Queen of The Channel”, Alison Streeter, with over 40 crossings to her name. Meanwhile, a 28-hour and 45-minute effort by Jackie Cobell last year, inadvertently earned her the longest swim record. Tides and winds can increase the distance covered towards 40 miles; other hazards include jellyfish, super-tankers, seasickness and hypothermia. Even with nutritional comforts unavailable to Webb – carbohydrate drinks and jelly babies, administered via long poles so swimmers don’t breach the bar on physical contact – a special sort of madness is needed to take all this on. You can insulate yourself mid-sea by singing a familiar tune; you can emblazon “tomorrow” on your forearm to steel yourself for the struggle; but you must obey just one instruction: follow the boat. On a clear day you can see France. On a great day you swim to it.
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