World Rose Day is observed on September 22 every year, in the memory of 12-year-old Melinda Rose from Canada, who was diagnosed with Askin’s Tumour, a rare form of blood cancer. While doctors had predicted that she would survive for a couple of weeks, she went to live for six months. During that span, she also reached out to other cancer patients and their caregivers and cheered them on with her letters, poems, and emails.
If a loved one is diagnosed with cancer, friends, family members and well-wishers may often find it tough to reach out to the patient and say the right thing. But not reaching out to them, and not being around during this tough time can make the patient feel alone. Here are some pointers on what to say and what to avoid when your loved one is suffering from cancer:
* You don’t look that sick: This is a highly insensitive comment, and takes away from the pain and suffering of the cancer patient. Instead, try to be there for them and take cues based on what they tell you.
* This new diet can cure cancer: While fad diets and new studies may say lots of things, chances are the patient has already followed a lot of them. To say to them that they haven’t done it all is highly insensitive.
* Think positive: Cancer patients go through all kinds of phases — at times, they may feel at peace, or feel afraid or angry at the world. And it is okay for them, they are processing their grief to the best of their capacity. Telling them to feel a certain way is not your call.
* Someone I know is healed now: Comparing cancer patients is not sensitive at all. Each person faces a unique challenge, with symptoms and side effects that another patient may not have. Their chances of survival and speed of recovery can also vary. Don’t pigeonhole cancer patients together.
* You will get better: While this statement may be well-intentioned and reflects hope, it does nothing for the cancer patient. They may go into remission or the disease may aggravate — no one knows how things will turn out making this statement redundant.
* We should go hang out: Cancer treatments can reduce immunity levels significantly, increasing chances of infection in the patient. So, hanging out in public places may not be the right suggestion.
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First Published: Sep 22, 2018 12:21 IST
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