How One Model's Sport Helped Her Overcome Addiction And An Eating Disorder​

For model, Muay Thai fighter, and body positivity activist Mia Kang, no two days are alike. She often splits her time between glamorous photo shoot locations and sweat-filled gyms, which is just one example of the many contrasts that punctuate her life.

“I think that people look at me and get confused,” she says. “People don’t really know how to categorize me because I’m not quite Asian, not quite Caucasian. In the [modeling] industry, I’m not big enough, not small enough, not tall enough, not short enough. It’s always: ‘You’re too feminine to be a fighter, you’re too masculine to be a model.’”

When Kang was in her early teens, she was told by her doctor that she needed to lose weight. As a 13-year-old with little nutrition knowledge, she practically stopped eating altogether and, as a result, nearly halved her weight. This should have raised red flags, but instead, modeling offers piled up. The pressure to stay thin led to more than 15 years of disordered eating. Kang developed anorexia and bulimia and began using narcotics, diet pills, diuretics, and laxatives to remain thin—which left her feeling miserable

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Left: 2015. size 2. I hadn't eaten solid food in 10 days and smoke a pack of Marlboro Lights a day. I was obsessed with my collarbones, ribs and hip bones showing. I was obsessed with having a thigh gap. I was about to shoot Sports Illustrated Swimsuit for the first time and was trying to look like a VS angel. I was told by the industry I never looked better but still had a little more weight to lose. I hated how I looked so much I thought I was fat and lived in constant anxiety. Right: Now. Size 8. I feel like I finally became a woman. I love my thighs, my curves. I love my strength and the fact I can probably whoop your ass. I still have insecurities as I adjust into my new body, just like everyone else. But I know my body, respect it, and love it. It isn't easy for me to post these pictures because I still have a disease that I have to live with for the rest of my life. A small part of me looks at me now and hates it. Eating disorders and body dysmorphia don't just disappear but you can learn how to manage it and heal. You can reprogram your thinking. I want to put the images out there that I never had. I want to show women that it's ok to gain weight. We have the pleasure of having fluctuating bodies, enjoy your curves, enjoy being a WOMAN. Be healthy and be confident. We have one body and one life, don't let your insecurities hold you back from happiness.

A post shared by Mia Kang 미아 (@missmiakang) on

View this post on Instagram

Left: 2015. size 2. I hadn't eaten solid food in 10 days and smoke a pack of Marlboro Lights a day. I was obsessed with my collarbones, ribs and hip bones showing. I was obsessed with having a thigh gap. I was about to shoot Sports Illustrated Swimsuit for the first time and was trying to look like a VS angel. I was told by the industry I never looked better but still had a little more weight to lose. I hated how I looked so much I thought I was fat and lived in constant anxiety. Right: Now. Size 8. I feel like I finally became a woman. I love my thighs, my curves. I love my strength and the fact I can probably whoop your ass. I still have insecurities as I adjust into my new body, just like everyone else. But I know my body, respect it, and love it. It isn't easy for me to post these pictures because I still have a disease that I have to live with for the rest of my life. A small part of me looks at me now and hates it. Eating disorders and body dysmorphia don't just disappear but you can learn how to manage it and heal. You can reprogram your thinking. I want to put the images out there that I never had. I want to show women that it's ok to gain weight. We have the pleasure of having fluctuating bodies, enjoy your curves, enjoy being a WOMAN. Be healthy and be confident. We have one body and one life, don't let your insecurities hold you back from happiness.

A post shared by Mia Kang 미아 (@missmiakang) on

View this post on Instagram

Left: 2015. size 2. I hadn’t eaten solid food in 10 days and smoke a pack of Marlboro Lights a day. I was obsessed with my collarbones, ribs and hip bones showing. I was obsessed with having a thigh gap. I was about to shoot Sports Illustrated Swimsuit for the first time and was trying to look like a VS angel. I was told by the industry I never looked better but still had a little more weight to lose. I hated how I looked so much I thought I was fat and lived in constant anxiety. Right: Now. Size 8. I feel like I finally became a woman. I love my thighs, my curves. I love my strength and the fact I can probably whoop your ass. I still have insecurities as I adjust into my new body, just like everyone else. But I know my body, respect it, and love it. It isn’t easy for me to post these pictures because I still have a disease that I have to live with for the rest of my life. A small part of me looks at me now and hates it. Eating disorders and body dysmorphia don’t just disappear but you can learn how to manage it and heal. You can reprogram your thinking. I want to put the images out there that I never had. I want to show women that it’s ok to gain weight. We have the pleasure of having fluctuating bodies, enjoy your curves, enjoy being a WOMAN. Be healthy and be confident. We have one body and one life, don’t let your insecurities hold you back from happiness.

A post shared by Mia Kang 미아 (@missmiakang) on

A shift in perspective

In 2016, seeking respite and a space to recover, she fled to Thailand; there, she discovered Muay Thai. For Kang, the sport provided a form of rehabilitation.

“The gym was right by my house in Thailand, and I would just drive past and stare… I saw the little boys training, and it was like watching this violent ballet. I thought it was so graceful,” she says.

So one day, Kang put on a pair of gloves and joined them. It was a turning point—one that, over time, allowed her to connect with her body in a way that she never had before. She began to look at exercise as a fun, rather than an arduous.

“I think people look at exercise as this tedious thing that they have to do and treat it like it’s a punishment for eating,” she laments. “I really encourage people to go find something that they genuinely like, whether it’s a fighting thing, a dance class… If you find something that you actually enjoy, then it’s not tedious anymore.”

Sticking to her new, balanced lifestyle

It’s been two years since Kang started practicing Muay Thai. She aims to train six days a week, but above all she tries to remain balanced. She’s the first to admit that even though the practice makes her feel great, she sometimes faces the same pre-workout dread as the rest of us.

“I guarantee there are days where Serena Williams doesn’t even want to go pick up a tennis racket,” she says. “I think that’s also a misconception—people think that once you get good at something it becomes easy, but even at the highest level of professional athlete, you have to push yourself.”

I learned that food isn’t a reward for starvation. Food is nourishment.

Muay Thai has also played a significant role in helping her heal from her eating disorder. “In Muay Thai, it’s simply about how strong you feel,” Kang explains. The sport, she explains, forces her to focus on how she feels on the inside—an exact contrast with the focus on the external required by her modeling work.

“I’m fully aware of all my insecurities and all my ‘flaws,’ but I accept them and I’m not letting them weigh me down anymore, because they’re not going anywhere,” she says. “It’s my decision whether I want to struggle with them or whether I want to make peace with them. You can only find that balance when you listen to yourself.”

Kang’s sport has also taught her that food is not the enemy. “I learned that food isn’t a reward for starvation. Food is nourishment,” she says proudly. “That’s when I learned what my body was actually capable of, and I found strength in myself that I never, ever thought I would have.”

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